The querida system is to a a lot of Filipino males, is a way of life wherein a married man maintains a mistress. The Filipino married male who keeps a querida provides the mistress with money and goes home to her once in a while but he is careful to keep the relationship a secret from his lawful wife. If his mistress bears him a child, he usually supports the child but is very careful not to acknowledge the child’s paternity. His wife might discover it and he might be accused of immorality. Ya think! This behavior is considered “normal” since it goes along with the concept of “machismo.” The “machismo” complex somehow encourages the Filipino male to take on a sexual role which could only be verified by the peer group to which he belongs in terms of the number of affairs he maintains and children he sires either with his legitimate wife or his mistresses.
For the mistress, having a child means a sure source of income. A man may not support his mistress but he will support the child. Since being a mistress is a temporary affair. Without a child, the woman gets into a pitiful situation in old age. Philandering by the Filipino males are not very much looked down upon in the Filipino culture. Because he is a man, he can be forgiven for taking too much sexual freedom. He just wants to prove his masculinity. On the other hand, Filipino wives feel that sex is primarily the husband’s pleasure, so it can be denied him if he misbehaves.
This is one heck of a belief by Filipinos. A complete lack of self control here on the part of the men. The women don’t have much choice here but to put up with this kind of behavior. Divorce is illegal here. Annulments are the way here but they are almost immpossible to get without both sides agreeing to it. This behavior so common here there is a name for it but they don’t call it adultry.